at long last
This is a Fruit Fucker.
The name isn't mine. It's a character from the webcomic Penny Arcade.
My husband is a regular reader; I pop in from time to time but I'm not a gamer so it often goes over my head. My husband asked me to knit him a Fruit Fucker . . . probably two years ago. I turned him down because I don't find knitting toys that interesting, and I don't like making my own patterns. Knitting is a de-stresser for me; I like to just sit down at the end of a long day and let my hands go.
But, dear one that he is, he is extremely persistent, and wore me down.
It was actually really simple to make: a tube, colorwork for the, uh, hole, the mouth, and the band at the eyes, then regular decreases like a hat. Without casting off, I knit an i-cord, then fudged a sphere at the top and shoved a pipe cleaner down the middle of the i-cord to make it stand up. That was the method for the arms and legs; the feet are cardboard rectangles that I knitted around. Then I "embroidered" on the eyes, stuffed the body and knit a circle to close up the bottom. The chute is a rectangle with pipe cleaner running along three sides; I folded over the knit fabric and closed it with a whip stitch. Voila!
Gratuitous kitten picture
So there you go. Do let me know if you've seen one of these somewhere else. I saw a crocheted one, but I haven't seen any other knitted ones. Now to see how long I can hold out before I'm forced to make a totoro.